March 25, 2013
Life. Pain. Joy.
On March 22nd of 2009, her baby (me) was found unconscious in the wreckage of an almost-destroyed car, which flew off the ground about 12 feet up in the air and allegedly flipped over 10 times. In a coma for nearly 10 days, my injuries were very severe but the most painful of it all was losing a friend. I was fighting for my life.
“Life is unfair.” I said it many times, and probably did you. At some point in life, we ask a lot of questions; questions that most often remain unanswered. I lived through several days with a strong feeling of distress, misfortune, and deep sorrow. When I woke from coma, I couldn’t accept where I was, how I was, and what had happened. Unable to move, eat, walk, and even scratch my own leg, I thought life was over.
Today, March 25th, is my birthday and my life is definitely not over, yet. Four years ago, I celebrated my birthday in the ICU with a lot of tubes down my throat. More precisely, I didn’t celebrate it. My friends celebrated for me. I was unconscious. When I woke, I saw pictures of my “birthday party” in the hospital. Family and friends had balloons all over the ICU bedroom. For some reason, they were happy and most importantly confident I’d be okay. It wasn’t easy, but, as my father told me, God won’t give you more than you can bear. It’s true and you have to believe in it; I did. That’s what makes the difference. It was all about me. In the midst of difficulties, I knew nobody could help me; it was my problems, my challenges, it was all on me. Friends and family can only help you so much. You’re on your own. I understood that. I knew I needed to endure a lot, and I was willing to do so on my own.
I’m going to carry a strong feeling of loss for the rest of my life. Losing a friend is not an easy thing to accept but I am okay with it. I can't change that. Unfortunately, I can’t change the past but I surely can change the future. I’m very grateful for all of you who in one way, small or big, have helped me become a stronger person.
Life has hit me pretty hard but joy is only a couple blocks away. Go get it!
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